Obesity – the pro and the cons

29 12 2008

Why can’t I be one of those pretty fat girls – an airbrushed Lane Bryant model, curves in all the right places, no cellulite, no “giant dip”?  Why can’t I just give up and accept that I am just zaftig, a descendant of hearty peasant stock?  In the Middle Ages, having a little junk in the truck was a symbol of wealth. 

The positive thing about my descent into obesity is that I might be able to weather a famine. 

There are quite a few unpleasant things about being overweight.  Foremost is the social stigma.  The obese are one of the few groups that are openly discriminated against, likely because on the surface it appears that weight is completely under our control.  Eat less, exercise more.  A simple formula, but not easy.

I have minor medical issues that I attribute to my weight.  I notice that I am using my inhaler more often than when I was thinner.  Heartburn plagues me when I overeat.  I’m convinced that the reason I have plantar fasciitis is that my frame has to support excess weight.  Yoyoing caused me to have my gall bladder removed and I have a 12-inch scar from beneath my left breast to above my right hipbone to show for it.  Still, I persist.

At Christmas, I was embarrassed and wondered if Craig’s family noticed the weight I have put on.  I avoided having my photo taken.  I wonder if my husband finds me less attractive.  He is an anti-fatite, you see.  Though he never has judged me outloud, I’m certain that he wonders why I allow myself to be overweight.   

Certainly this is a pathetic post.  My purpose for writing it is to embarrass myself into starting a diet and to provide myself with some honest reference material regarding how being overweight makes me feel. 

Today has been a busy day.  I have been too busy to gorge myself.  Perhaps this will be the start of a new diet.  Once I get one good day in, I can usually stay on track for a while.  Wish me luck…




5 responses

29 12 2008

Good luck!! Dieting is sooo hard. I have always been relatively skinny but it is a day to day struggle to not just eat everything I see. I exercise to I can continue to eat most of the food I want. I know not the most healthy reason to start to exercise but it works for me lol.

29 12 2008

Don’t blame yourself.
Sometimes life gets in the way of our dreams.
Trying to be perfect will just burn you out and cause binge eating. Set and achieve some short term goals, you will feel successful. The mini-victories will keep you motivated for success and help to push you forward!

Good Luck!

30 12 2008
Mary Sue

I don’t know if it helps, but I think you are pretty! I do not think your weight detracts from your beauty. You sound so sad and frustrated, and I feel sad about that because I don’t think you realize how pretty you are. You also have been a great stimulus for getting me to exercise and I appreciate it.

30 12 2008

I’m with MarySue. I think you are very pretty and you look pretty at whatever size… I think, like most of us, that you are harder on yourself than you should be.
And, as far as Craig goes, he is lucky to have you, because you are smart and funny and generous and hard working.

30 12 2008

Jennifer and MarySue – You are great friends and I love you. I didn’t write this post because I feel sad or depressed. I am attempting to start a diet (2 days successful at this point). I wanted to write a very real post about how being overweight makes me feel. Perhaps this post was more suited for a diary or journal (Diana Raab, anyone?). I want to have something to look back at, that is in my own words, for when I go off track in the future. Thank-you, as always, for your wonderful support and friendship.

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