The Beautiful People…

15 12 2008

At the beginning of the month, Craig and I took a much needed holiday to Las Vegas, Nevada.  Las Vegas was never on the top of my list of places to travel, but the low price of airfare and lodging piqued my interest.  Off we went to the timeshare capital of the universe. 

Well-dressed strangers often approached us on the street with queries such as:

  • How old are you?
  • Are you married?
  • Will you be here tomorrow?
  • Where are you staying?
  • Where are you from?

The first time we were duped.  A young man in a suit approached us as we entered New York, New York and asked us how old we were.  Craig and I replied with 32 and 31, respectively.  He then asked us if we had gotten a chance to purchase any discount show tickets.  Discount?  I love that word.  My pupils were dilated and my pulse quickened at the thought of saving money.  He took us over to speak to his “manager”.

After greeting us with an exuberantly friendly hello, the “manager” started asking us questions about how long we had been married.  Then she offered to sell us two tickets to see Criss Angel for a total of $50.  My pulse slowed down to intermittent thuds.  My blood ran cold.  We had been foiled.  The light bulb over my head lit up.  I asked her if we would have to listen to a timeshare presentation to get this great deal.  When she confirmed, I quickly said that we were not interested and pulled Craig quickly away. 

The next few days we avoided the timeshare salespeople to the best of our ability, attempting not to make eye contact and walking quickly away without responding to their queries. 

One woman approached us and asked asked where we were from.  My response: the standard “I’m not interested.”  She yelled at me – “That’s not a place!” 

At this point, I became extremely annoyed.  I have determined that in order to present a timeshare opportunity to you, you must be married, over the age of 26, living out of town and available to hear their spiel at some point in the near future.  I coached Craig to respond by telling people that we were married, but not to each other (how else to explain the rings?), that we were 25, that we were leaving within the hour or that we lived in the immediate area.  Personally, I was done speaking nicely to the timeshare people.  I was ready to read the next person that approached me the riot act.

The most persistent timeshare salespeople were in the old downtown area of Las Vegas.  Craig told one person that we were 25.  Apparently, the salesman thought that Craig was lying and asked him if he was sure.  I turned around and told the salesman very firmly that we were not interested in a timeshare, grabbed Craig’s hand and marched quickly away. 

We ate a little lunch at a Subway inside of the casino.  As we left, the same salesperson we had spoken to earlier approached us again.  He started telling us how he could tell we were annoyed and that he was sorry.  I relented and told him that I understood that he was just doing his job, but that we were on vacation and didn’t want to be bothered. 

He went on to inform us that we should be flattered that so many timeshare salespeople want to talk to us.  He said that a lot of people get very angry that they are not allowed to go to a timeshare presentation because only attractive people are permitted to purchase timeshares. 

As I stomped away, he called out that we shouldn’t knock timeshares until we have tried one. 

If I ever return to Las Vegas, I will be sporting a custom t-shirt warning off the timeshare salespeople. 





5 responses

15 12 2008

i may have mentioned i’m very scrooge-esque. i probably would have told everyone i had leprosy and was visiting the area because it was so well known for it’s healing mud baths. and i would have invited the folks to jump in the baths with me, although i couldn’t quarantee that the leprosy might not be contained in mud. i’m not kidding.

poor you for having to put up with this on your vacation.

16 12 2008
Secret Server

I love your T-shirt idea. That sucks that those people interfered with your vacation.

18 12 2008

Hmm… Maybe I could just get have a shirt made that says “I have bad credit!”

18 12 2008

One of my favorite parts of Vegas are the illegals on every corner handing out “business cards” featuring mostly nude women with a phone number and dollar figure. Way more fun than timeshare pushers.

22 12 2008

Yes. That is delightful as well. I often wonder about the $29 special. What do they do for $29?!

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